As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17 NLT
Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces. Proverbs 13:20 MSG
All through the Bible we see warnings, encouragements, and examples that speak to the significance of friendships to our health. Relationship health is impacted by the friends with whom we spend the most time.
- That is why parents are so often accused of “freaking out” over one of their children’s associations – they forecast trouble.
- Relational experts tell us that when happily married individuals end up finding a friend group mostly consisting of singles or unhappy married people, it is likely their marriage will be struggling within the year.
- The academic efforts of a student typically mirror the people with whom they spend the most time.
- If we have a generally pessimistic attitude, it is almost certain our circle of friends will be the same, and vice versa.
When that happens, we are allowing God’s marvelous plan for connection with other people to go far awry. When man was first formed, God said, “it is not good for man to be alone,” and He instantly designed a very compatible human for him. We were never meant to fly solo. Great friendships serve many important functions, the first of which is that we naturally pick up many positive, godly qualities with close association without striving for them.
But secondly, it is much more intentional. We must select people with whom to connect who will help us become the best version of ourselves. It is not easy to develop great friendships in our busy world. Honest, integrity-filled friendships often fall to the wayside in our busy lives. It is easier just to have acquaintances to “chill” or hang out with from time to time. But to be truly healthy, we need to intentionally find and develop friendships with people who will see in us what Jesus sees – incredible worth and potential – and then do what Jesus does. They stick with us, and with vulnerability and authentic love and commitment, they sharpen us to be our best. And it is mutual. We do the same for them. This kind of friendship actively declares war on Satan’s attempts to destroy us and make us less than God intended. These are the healthy friendships that faithfully walk with us through life and beat down the gates of hell.
- What’s the friendship health of your life? Are you THAT kind of friend? Do you have some friends like that? If not, what will you do?